The Terminal: Life is Waiting.

It's been MONTHS since I last posted anything here. And so many things have happened. What triggers this post is a 4 hours-delay at Terminal 3, Soekarno-Hatta International Airport... so, there's always a bright side of everything, after all. Had my flight been on-time, this blog post wouldn't have existed. So there.

What I'm trying to do is to get to Bengkulu, today. Never been there before. Some people say the beach is fabulous. We'll see (if I ever manage to get there, anyway... what is up with this Mandala airlines?%&#@!!!).

So far, this is what I've done:

1) ate donuts and drank latte at J.Co... which is always good. No electrical outlet whatsoever, though... a good strategy to prevent people like me from hogging the tables with their laptops plugged in

2) walked around Terminal 3... which is surprisingly nice. The building, I mean. Maybe because it's still brand new. I hope this place stays bright and clean for... ever? Dare I hope so? Building is easier than maintaining, at least that's how it is in this country. 

3) observed people's reaction at Mandala boarding counter... upon learning that their flights were delayed. The reactions vary from anger (as seen from their bulging eyes and scrunched-up faces), amusement (as seen from their expression, and thought bubbles above their heads reading, "Delay... again... how many days this time?"), frustration (as seen from their silent but miserable expression), and apathy (as seen from their stone-like, expressionless faces). My own reaction was a mix of amusement and frustration, because I have to reschedule all my appointments for 2 days. 

4) read the claim form... which would entitle me to Rp.200.000/2 hours delay compensation, which is good. That would cover my donut and coffee expenses. But wait... they're not gonna pay me immediately. So maybe I would get the compensation in a few months, if I'm lucky. We'll see about that. If they screw up my compensation, I'd write a complaint letter about it... but wait... I might get sued by Mandala and sent to prison because of it. So I'll just chill and wait and see what happens. So much for customer-centeredness, customer-orientation, customer delight, customer satisfaction, customer blah blah. 

5) called people.

I still have 3,5 hours to kill. I start to feel like that guy Viktor Navorski in The Terminal... only I still have my nationality because my country is still intact. Maybe I would find the love of my life here (0,01% chance of happening) or maybe I'd just arrive in Bengkulu completely exhausted and cranky and utterly not in the mood for conducting in-depth interviews (99,99% chance of happening). 

Desire

A lover knows only humility

He has no choice

He steals into your alley at night

He has no choice

He longs to kiss every lock of your hair

Don't fret

He has no choice

In his frenzied love for you

He tries to break the chains of his imprisonment

He has no choice

A lover asks his beloved, 

"Do you love yourself more than you love me?"

Beloved replies, "I've died to myself, and I live for you... I've disappeared from myself and my attributes... I am present only for you."

I've forgotten all my learnings

But from knowing you, I have become a scholar

I have lost all my strength

but from your power, I am able.

I love myself. I love you. I love you. I love myself...

I am your lover

Come to my side

I will open the gate to your love

Come settle with me

Let us be neighbors with the stars

You have been hiding so long

Aimlessly drifting

In the sea of my love

Even so, you have always been connected to me

Concealed. Revealed. In the known. In the unmanifest

I am life itself.

You have been a prisoner of a little pond

I am the ocean

And its turbulent flood

Come merge with me

Leave this world of ignorance

Be with me

I will open the gate to your love

I desire you more than food or drink

My body, my senses, my mind

Hungered for your taste

I can sense your presence in my heart

Although you belong to all the world

I wait with silent passion

For one gesture. Once glance. From you.

The Early Bird...

This is very early in the year... so let's talk about being early (thanks, G., for the inspiration)...

"The early bird gets the worm."

Why do people believe this? In Jakarta, maybe you would be able to avoid hellish traffic if you leave home early (like 5 AM). Maybe this comes from the time of our ancestors, where people's occupation was mainly working the rice paddy and farming. Their whole business would be in complete chaos if they, say, start working only at 9 AM.

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Because the first mouse gets killed by the trap and is now resting in peace. This holds true in the mice community. I don't know what the analogy is in humankind. You watch your colleague fail miserably in a project, then you take over, and now you know what she did wrong, you avoid the mistakes, and you eventually succeed, you make a big fuss out of it and get promoted? I don't know. Maybe.

"The early worm gets eaten by the early bird, so don't come out early."

This is posted on the wall in the worm community. They're not stupid.

"Where the hell are all the worms?!!"

This is eventually posted on the wall, in the bird community. 

"Shopping Bag" Theory

It was just after a cozy afternoon latte when I walked to my car carrying my laptop bag, when my very good friend (who walked me to the car and would soon be my dinner companion) apologized, "Sorry for not offering to carry your bag for you... it's just that your laptop bag looks so girly... it just wouldn't feel right if I carry that... you know!" 

This is interesting.

First, let me clarify one thing: my laptop bag is NOT girly. It's dark brown with olive green inner lining, yes, but you can't even see the green lining if it's zipped closed. And it's not even "girly green". There's absolutely no sign of girliness in the sense of pink, colorful pattern, ribbon, flower, lace or bling.

Second, and this is the most intriguing part: 1) would a guy refuse to carry something for a woman if the object is considered too "girly"?; 2) why? Is it because such a thing would diminish his masculinity, or is there another reason?

I asked the guy, of course. In the spirit of satisfying my curiosity. Lots of questions, actually. 

Q: "So... how about carrying shopping bags for your wife at the shopping mall?"

A: "Well, I am NOT going to carry a light shopping bag."

Q: "Does it matter if the shopping bag is emblazoned with Metro, Sogo, or other store's logo?"

A: "Not really... as long as the shopping bag is heavy."

Q: "Do you only carry shopping bag with "masculine" logo on it? Like... say, Ace Hardware? So people would think, 'Hey, he is a do-it-yourself guy, man of the house'...?"

A: "Doesn't matter. It's not important for me to be considered such a guy. I only carry the bag if it's heavy."

Q: "So if the bag(s) are not heavy, you would let the woman (your wife) carry them herself?"

A: "Absolutely."

Q: "Why?"

A: "As a man, I'm only obliged to interfere when and only when the bag(s) are heavy."

Q: "How about other acts of chivalry, like opening the (car) door for women?"

A: "I only open the (car) door for very old women, or for heavily pregnant women. My mom, for example, is still very healthy and swift, so I don't open the door for her. I simply let her do it herself. On the other hand, I did it when my wife was pregnant."

Q: "How about other division of tasks between man and woman (husband and wife)... what would you do, what would you never do?"

A: "I don't mind carrying the baby with a kangaroo-carrier strapped up front, I don't mind pushing my other kid's stroller around a shopping mall... but I let my wife do all the grocery shopping, including handling all the shopping bags. Again, I would only interfere when she can't handle it herself. The kids? I would happily care for them in the mean time!"

So, it can be concluded that "girly" is not the real issue here. He doesn't offer to carry my laptop bag because it's not too heavy for me, and I could still handle it myself. Correct me if I'm wrong, N.

SHOPPING BAG THEORY on male categorization

Based on their attitude toward "carrying shopping bags", men can be divided into 2 groups:

1) Knights in Shining Armor

These guys would open doors and  carry shopping bags for women (including laptop bags, for sure), walk on incoming-traffic side when crossing the road with women. They might do it for 2 different reasons, though: 

... because they believe in chivalry and they want to be gentlemen (A-type), OR 

... because they think women are the weaker of the species and thus need all those help and protection (B-type)

The difference can be seen when these guys are faced with the issue of childcare: the A-type guys would be happy to play nanny, even if it's only for the sake of image ("Oooh what a great father that guy is...") while the B-type guys would leave all childcare and babysitting to the women (because that's what women are supposed to do, that's not a guy's business, and they would look less masculine when carrying a baby or chasing a toddler around).

2) Sensible-Practical Guys

These guys are basing their action on sensibility and practicality. would open doors for women when necessary, carry shopping bags for women only when the women cannot handle it by themselves, be protective when the situation calls for it. Because they believe women are their peers. Women are equal to men, and thus can handle things by themselves, and protect themselves as well. 

Childcare? No problem. If it's more sensible for the women to do grocery shopping, these guys would happily be the nanny in the mean time. If the situation calls for the opposite (dad doing shopping, mom babysitting) then let's do it. Whatever makes sense. Masculinity is not an issue. A man can care for his children and still be masculine, whatever "masculine" means.

My friend falls into the "Sensible-Practical Guys" category, I think. 

As for me, you know I have double standard in this kind of thing. Just like that "special parking space for women" issue. I can carry my own (laptop) bag, no problem at all. But if a guy offers to carry it for me, I don't mind either. As for shopping bags: I would appreciate if a guy helps me carry heavy ones. However, if it was a carrier bag from Tiffany or Louis Vuitton, I don't mind carrying it myself regardless of the size or weight *wink wink* 

I'm still curious about one thing, though. And I wouldn't be able to sleep well until I get a satisfactory answer to this: WHY on earth do you think my laptop bag looks girly? Yes, I'm asking YOU. Just call or text me the answer. Thanks ;)

The (Secret) Life of Plant

Visiting Starbucks @ Oakwood. Having my usual hazelnut latte. Chatting with my friend. Going to the toilet. Doing my stuff. Gazing absentmindedly at the lone orchid plant at the corner, right in front of the toilet bowl. Leaving the toilet. Going back to my table.

Did just that on several visits there. Never gave that plant a second thought. But one time, as I gazed at the plant, I thought, "Imagine life as THIS plant over here..." Is it a real plant to begin with? I touched its leaf, and its flower. Its smooth velvety purple petals. It's real. A real, living plant. Growing silently there in a pot, at the corner of a Starbucks toilet, right in front of the toilet bowl. Watching toilet-visitors' face day in day out. Observing their various behaviors. Smelling the various toilet smells. Hearing the various toilet sounds. What kind of a life would that be? 

I just can't take my mind off that solitary orchid.

I try to imagine what the orchid might possibly be thinking.

"Ooh, here comes another guy who can't aim his device properly... splashing all over the floor and stinking the whole place. I wonder what they teach these male humans about point-and-shoot skills? And I'm not talking Sony CyberShot here!"

"Oops. This one's had bad milk, seems like. He seems to be in pain. There he goes again. Yuck. This one stinks big time. Oh my."

"Why is this girl talking on her phone, here? Is she escaping someone? What is she talking about? Ooh... that's her boyfriend on the line. I bet she hangs out here with her other boyfriend... jeez, I wish I could speak! Hey, big guy! Listen here! Your girlfriend's cheating! She's not here with Nina and Trisha! She's here with another guy! Helloooo. You lovestruck fool, you..."

"Boy poops and fails to wash hands afterwards. Must notify Mom. Dirty little brat. Oooh, don't you dare touch my leaves! Shoo. Shoo. No no nooo, DON'T TOUCH ME! Aaargh!"

"Ooh... hot chick. Look at those delicious legs. No. Wait... why is she standing there facing the toilet bowl? What's she doing... whoooaa... is that a cock?!! Damn... she's a GUY!!!"

If only the plant gets interviewed, I'm sure its insights would prove to be as intriguing as Sigmund Freud's.

An In-Flight Observation

Just got back from Surabaya. Flying Garuda Indonesia, as usual... but was so annoyed on the Jakarta-Surabaya flight because I couldn't find a space on the overhead compartment for my small luggage: every inch was packed with other people's stuff! How is that possible? Aren't the compartments supposed to provide enough space for everyone? This has never happened to me before... not in domestic flight, not in international flight. What happened? I decided to settle down and observe my surroundings (after a flight attendant found a space for my luggage in business class). 

I've been on so many flights and have taken lots of things for granted. Once I start to observe people's behavior, I realized some things. And I'm sure you would find (at least some of) them rather familiar. Here goes:

1) Overhead compartments are jam-packed and people who board the plane last would have absolutely no space to put their stuff (as happened to me). The reason? Just look at one lady who brings on board: one medium-sized luggage (definitely not cabin-sized), one sportsbag, one box of local snacks and crackers, and another plastic bag of God-knows-what. She packs everything into a compartment, and of course her stuff fills in the whole damn space. How about the passengers next to her? They put their stuff in the next compartment, thus using up yet another passenger's space. Repeat the process 22x2 times (in a Boeing 737), and voila! not enough space for everyone. 

2) Stinky stuff in the cabin. Try this on a flight from Palembang. You know pempek, the sinfully yummy and not-so-healthy fish cakes from the city? The fish cakes on their own are fine, but there's this black spicy sauce that goes with them, and it's made of spices and garlic and vinegar, and it STINKS. No matter how good you wrap it in plastic, the stink would persist. People would bring boxes of pempek into the cabin, and by the time the airplane is taxiing on the tarmac, the stink would gloriously fill the air. Try breathing that air for the whole 1,5 hours flight. I did. I survived. But I can't imagine how people could be so ignorant of their fellow passengers' sense of smell, sanity and well-being. I did bring a box of pempek myself, but I checked it in. Since I'm sure there's no living being in the cargo area, I can be sure that I'm not torturing anyone with that dangerous biohazard that is pempek.

3) In-flight mobile phone galore! Numerous newspaper articles, online forums, and chain emails have covered this issue extensively. And given Indonesia's less-than-excellent airline reputation, people should've known better. But I see it all the time: 

• people chattering into their mobile phones well until the plane is taxiing before take-off, saying (loudly so the whole cabin could hear), "YES! YES! I'M BOARDING THE PLANE NOW! HUH? YES, I'M IN THE AIRPLANE!!! PICK ME UP AT [city/airport name] IN ONE HOUR, YES?!!! OK!!! I HAVE TO SWITCH OFF MY PHONE NOW!!! [duh] BYE!!!"
  
• people keeping their mobile on while in flight (a friend of mine experienced this recently, she heard a familiar ring from a passenger behind her, 45 minutes into a Jakarta-Surabaya flight, at night, in stormy weather... she freaked out, of course, and screamed at the mobile phone owner)
  
• people switching their mobile back on right after touchdown at destination... isn't it like music to your ear, when you hear that familiar Nokia startup tune at landing, when the airplane hasn't even slowed down? This time you would hear them scream, "HELLO?!! HELLO?!! I JUST LANDED IN [city/airport name]!!! YES!!! PICK ME UP AT THE FRONT, WILL YOU?!!! YES YES... SEE YOU SOON!! HUH? HELLO?!! HELLO?!!" ... at times like this, I wish there was some kind of alien presence (like Klaatu/Gort) that could send hypnotic/telekinetic electricity/electromagnetic pulse to these ignorant passengers through their mobile phones, that would stun and incapacitate them on the spot... *sigh* me and my overimaginative mind. 

Black Cat

You believe in myths and superstitions? You don't walk under ladders? You're freaked out when a black cat walks in front of you? You carry a rabbit's tail with you? (poor, poor rabbit) You knock on wood? 

Well, I was walking out of that new bookstore in Kemang Village, when a sleek, shiny black cat saw me and cowered and took a step back. As I walked past it, we just stared at each other. It's got beautiful eyes. Flashing greenish-yellow eyes. And the fur! It's so sleek and black and shiny it's like liquid ink. I was still thinking of how beautiful the creature was, when I started the car. I even drove the car further back, just to check whether the cat was real (you never know!). It was. The cat was walking stealthily under a row of standing poster displays... its black coat reflecting the building's light. 

If "a black cat walking in front of you" means bad luck, what does "a black cat cowering and taking a step back upon seeing you" mean? I do hope it means good luck. 

Meow.

Girls Rule!

Heard it on the radio this morning: "Women are always demanding equality, they talk about their dignity... but when it comes to parking space in Jakarta, there's a special section dedicated for 'women drivers'... and there will be women-only cars on trains, and women-only TransJakarta buses. Do they really want to be treated as equals, or do they want to be treated differently because they're women?!!" 

Talking about gender-based discrimination? Of course! "Positive discrimination", I call it. Because we women are benefited from it :))

How about me? Well. I think a dedicated, women-only train cars or buses are a bit much, but I can say a thing or two about the parking space issue.

See, I drive a manual-transmission car in Jakarta's excruciating traffic. What I want to do as soon as I enter the parking basement of a mall/office building is to park my car, as close as possible to the entrance/elevator/escalator bay. If I could get THAT coveted parking spot because I'm a WOMAN, so be it. If I don't, I just look elsewhere for a vacant spot. No big deal.

Besides, only several major malls (and a few office buildings, as far as I know) have dedicated parking area for women. At most places, we women have to fight and curse our way to find a spot, just like everyone else. So what are these guys complaining about? Take it like a man, man!

After all, we women drivers deserve it. We are brave enough to roam the deadly streets of Jakarta; we are tough enough to survive the drive from home to our destination without losing our minds; we stand up for ourselves; we give stupid, reckless drivers/riders THE finger when the situation calls for it; we don't whine and ask men to drive us, we just take matters into our own hands and DRIVE. How "emancipated" is that?

But don't men do the same things as drivers? Well, of course they do. But I'm a WOMAN. So I have this double-standard. So sue me.

 

Ugly is the New Pretty...

My daughter's been nagging about Uglydolls. I checked them out. And oh, they're really ugly... they're made of felt. Some wedge-shaped. Some one-eyed. Some bucktoothed, some has fangs. All ugly. Forget Forever Friends, forget Strawberry Shortcake, forget Hello Kitty, forget Snoopy, forget Garfield. Forever Friends et al. are cute in a conservative way. Old-fashioned cute, where "cute" is associated with a white kitten wearing red ribbon on the ear, or a pretty girl wearing strawberry costume, or a fluffy cuddly teddy bear with pink cheeks, or even a fat lazy cat who loves lasagna. How about Uglydolls, then? They're just ugly. Plain ugly.

And I start to love them. I couldn't understand it at first, but they kind of grow on me, and I end up wanting them. Seriously. And my daughter couldn't be happier when I bought her her first Uglydoll. It's Wage. A black creature with sharp fangs, wearing a denim apron. Now Wage is officially a family member. I will find him on my pillow, or next to my iBook, or near my handbag. Or in the car. He's everywhere. 

Now. A good friend of mine is buying my daughter another Uglydoll. It's Babo this time. I can see it coming. More Uglydolls invading my home. In various colors and sizes. The next one would be Bop N'Beep (the two-sided ugly), I suspect. Because I love the color, and the schizophrenic idea of having a two-sided Uglydoll. Imagine THAT. I will be arguing with my daughter over WHICH Uglydoll to buy this time. One of us should grow up a.s.a.p, and I suspect that should've been ME.

I still think Uglydolls are ugly. In a cute, irresistible way. And I love them for it.

  

On Positioning: the Case of fX

The case today is fX (Lifestyle X'nter), the newest, hippest place in Jakarta. In an article in The Jakarta Post, the Marketing Director claims that, "fX is not a shopping center. We target young executive professionals from 25 to 45 for both business and leisure." Okayyyyyy... 

First thing first: what would a "shopping center" in Jakarta be like? Depending on time of the week, it could be teeming with: a) teenagers in noisy groups, dressed similarly you could barely distinguish one kid from another; b) housewives (just as noisy, and dressed to kill, toting the mandatory Birkin or Neverfull bag); c) the whole family, from grandparents to (great)grandchildren. Note the profusion of strollers and the compulsory uniformed nannies on weekends. Sometimes the father would play the overly-involved and all-smothering paterfamilia (because he's unavailable Monday-Saturday, so he crams 6-days-worth of fathering and husbanding into a 6-hours-stroll at the shopping mall). 

Now: what would "not a shopping center", like fX, be like? According to the Marketing Manager, at least? Flocks of corporate executives having lunch... people entertaining their clients... entrepreneurs holding meetings and presentation sessions in one of the various fPods (that's how they call the 11 meeting rooms)... dinners and drinks celebrating the closing of a deal... a long night at the club (and more than a few shots of tequila) to console oneself after a failed deal... stressed-out workers having the 12-second adrenaline rush on the giant slide (aptly called "Almostfear"... because now matter how scary the ride is, it's nothing compared to the "Realfear" you face when you have to report that failed deal to your angry boss, or a potential partner bailing out because you screwed up the negotiation, or a million-dollar investment going down the drain due to mismanagement, or a lawsuit due to financial fraud, or the risk of being fired because a coworker backstabbed you during that last project). I'm ranting here. Sorry... and office workers meeting their highschool or college friends for drinks after work, while waiting for the traffic jam to subside.

And finally (drumroll, please): an actual visit fo fX. Please note that this is on a weekend on the third week of August 2008, and fX has just been opened for less than a month. What do I see there?

• thirtysomething to fortysomething men (probably fX's target market, thus) bringing their spouses and offsprings on a weekend (probably because they have visited the place with co-workers before, liked the place and would love their family to experience it as well);
  
• teenagers attracted by the newness and hipness of the place (and the giant slide factor!);
• the usual mall crowd (marked by the abundance of strollers and nannies), not caring about fX positioning. To them, a mall is a mall is a mall is a mall.
• a long, snaking line of people queueing to try the giant slide... ranging from elderly ladies (what?!!) to young kids (who aren't supposed to be allowed to do it in the first place, I wonder what the age and height limits are). This says a lot about the socio-economic level of fX visitors, because one ride costs IDR 100,000 (roughly USD 10) and that ain't cheap.

So, what does it say about the fate of fX in the (near) future? Jakarta is the ADD Capital of Southeast Asia, remember... so I really AM curious about this. Let's see... fX might be:

a) completely deserted. Because it's only a passing fad, made "hip and happening" by initial curiosity and the giant slide factor.

b) deserted by the early curious visitors and frequented by the intended target market. The Marketing Director screams, "Yay!" and pumps his/her fist in the air.

c) inhabited by the usual mall crowd (thus rendering the segmenting-targeting-positioning completely useless). The Marketing Director says, "F**k!" and checks his Kotler textbook again, wondering where it all went wrong.

Alright. Time will tell. Another (weekday) visit required. And another weekend visit, maybe 2-3 months from now (the usual time needed for Jakartans to forget all about one passing fad and move on to another).