An In-Flight Observation

Just got back from Surabaya. Flying Garuda Indonesia, as usual... but was so annoyed on the Jakarta-Surabaya flight because I couldn't find a space on the overhead compartment for my small luggage: every inch was packed with other people's stuff! How is that possible? Aren't the compartments supposed to provide enough space for everyone? This has never happened to me before... not in domestic flight, not in international flight. What happened? I decided to settle down and observe my surroundings (after a flight attendant found a space for my luggage in business class). 

I've been on so many flights and have taken lots of things for granted. Once I start to observe people's behavior, I realized some things. And I'm sure you would find (at least some of) them rather familiar. Here goes:

1) Overhead compartments are jam-packed and people who board the plane last would have absolutely no space to put their stuff (as happened to me). The reason? Just look at one lady who brings on board: one medium-sized luggage (definitely not cabin-sized), one sportsbag, one box of local snacks and crackers, and another plastic bag of God-knows-what. She packs everything into a compartment, and of course her stuff fills in the whole damn space. How about the passengers next to her? They put their stuff in the next compartment, thus using up yet another passenger's space. Repeat the process 22x2 times (in a Boeing 737), and voila! not enough space for everyone. 

2) Stinky stuff in the cabin. Try this on a flight from Palembang. You know pempek, the sinfully yummy and not-so-healthy fish cakes from the city? The fish cakes on their own are fine, but there's this black spicy sauce that goes with them, and it's made of spices and garlic and vinegar, and it STINKS. No matter how good you wrap it in plastic, the stink would persist. People would bring boxes of pempek into the cabin, and by the time the airplane is taxiing on the tarmac, the stink would gloriously fill the air. Try breathing that air for the whole 1,5 hours flight. I did. I survived. But I can't imagine how people could be so ignorant of their fellow passengers' sense of smell, sanity and well-being. I did bring a box of pempek myself, but I checked it in. Since I'm sure there's no living being in the cargo area, I can be sure that I'm not torturing anyone with that dangerous biohazard that is pempek.

3) In-flight mobile phone galore! Numerous newspaper articles, online forums, and chain emails have covered this issue extensively. And given Indonesia's less-than-excellent airline reputation, people should've known better. But I see it all the time: 

• people chattering into their mobile phones well until the plane is taxiing before take-off, saying (loudly so the whole cabin could hear), "YES! YES! I'M BOARDING THE PLANE NOW! HUH? YES, I'M IN THE AIRPLANE!!! PICK ME UP AT [city/airport name] IN ONE HOUR, YES?!!! OK!!! I HAVE TO SWITCH OFF MY PHONE NOW!!! [duh] BYE!!!"
  
• people keeping their mobile on while in flight (a friend of mine experienced this recently, she heard a familiar ring from a passenger behind her, 45 minutes into a Jakarta-Surabaya flight, at night, in stormy weather... she freaked out, of course, and screamed at the mobile phone owner)
  
• people switching their mobile back on right after touchdown at destination... isn't it like music to your ear, when you hear that familiar Nokia startup tune at landing, when the airplane hasn't even slowed down? This time you would hear them scream, "HELLO?!! HELLO?!! I JUST LANDED IN [city/airport name]!!! YES!!! PICK ME UP AT THE FRONT, WILL YOU?!!! YES YES... SEE YOU SOON!! HUH? HELLO?!! HELLO?!!" ... at times like this, I wish there was some kind of alien presence (like Klaatu/Gort) that could send hypnotic/telekinetic electricity/electromagnetic pulse to these ignorant passengers through their mobile phones, that would stun and incapacitate them on the spot... *sigh* me and my overimaginative mind. 

Black Cat

You believe in myths and superstitions? You don't walk under ladders? You're freaked out when a black cat walks in front of you? You carry a rabbit's tail with you? (poor, poor rabbit) You knock on wood? 

Well, I was walking out of that new bookstore in Kemang Village, when a sleek, shiny black cat saw me and cowered and took a step back. As I walked past it, we just stared at each other. It's got beautiful eyes. Flashing greenish-yellow eyes. And the fur! It's so sleek and black and shiny it's like liquid ink. I was still thinking of how beautiful the creature was, when I started the car. I even drove the car further back, just to check whether the cat was real (you never know!). It was. The cat was walking stealthily under a row of standing poster displays... its black coat reflecting the building's light. 

If "a black cat walking in front of you" means bad luck, what does "a black cat cowering and taking a step back upon seeing you" mean? I do hope it means good luck. 

Meow.

Girls Rule!

Heard it on the radio this morning: "Women are always demanding equality, they talk about their dignity... but when it comes to parking space in Jakarta, there's a special section dedicated for 'women drivers'... and there will be women-only cars on trains, and women-only TransJakarta buses. Do they really want to be treated as equals, or do they want to be treated differently because they're women?!!" 

Talking about gender-based discrimination? Of course! "Positive discrimination", I call it. Because we women are benefited from it :))

How about me? Well. I think a dedicated, women-only train cars or buses are a bit much, but I can say a thing or two about the parking space issue.

See, I drive a manual-transmission car in Jakarta's excruciating traffic. What I want to do as soon as I enter the parking basement of a mall/office building is to park my car, as close as possible to the entrance/elevator/escalator bay. If I could get THAT coveted parking spot because I'm a WOMAN, so be it. If I don't, I just look elsewhere for a vacant spot. No big deal.

Besides, only several major malls (and a few office buildings, as far as I know) have dedicated parking area for women. At most places, we women have to fight and curse our way to find a spot, just like everyone else. So what are these guys complaining about? Take it like a man, man!

After all, we women drivers deserve it. We are brave enough to roam the deadly streets of Jakarta; we are tough enough to survive the drive from home to our destination without losing our minds; we stand up for ourselves; we give stupid, reckless drivers/riders THE finger when the situation calls for it; we don't whine and ask men to drive us, we just take matters into our own hands and DRIVE. How "emancipated" is that?

But don't men do the same things as drivers? Well, of course they do. But I'm a WOMAN. So I have this double-standard. So sue me.

 

Ugly is the New Pretty...

My daughter's been nagging about Uglydolls. I checked them out. And oh, they're really ugly... they're made of felt. Some wedge-shaped. Some one-eyed. Some bucktoothed, some has fangs. All ugly. Forget Forever Friends, forget Strawberry Shortcake, forget Hello Kitty, forget Snoopy, forget Garfield. Forever Friends et al. are cute in a conservative way. Old-fashioned cute, where "cute" is associated with a white kitten wearing red ribbon on the ear, or a pretty girl wearing strawberry costume, or a fluffy cuddly teddy bear with pink cheeks, or even a fat lazy cat who loves lasagna. How about Uglydolls, then? They're just ugly. Plain ugly.

And I start to love them. I couldn't understand it at first, but they kind of grow on me, and I end up wanting them. Seriously. And my daughter couldn't be happier when I bought her her first Uglydoll. It's Wage. A black creature with sharp fangs, wearing a denim apron. Now Wage is officially a family member. I will find him on my pillow, or next to my iBook, or near my handbag. Or in the car. He's everywhere. 

Now. A good friend of mine is buying my daughter another Uglydoll. It's Babo this time. I can see it coming. More Uglydolls invading my home. In various colors and sizes. The next one would be Bop N'Beep (the two-sided ugly), I suspect. Because I love the color, and the schizophrenic idea of having a two-sided Uglydoll. Imagine THAT. I will be arguing with my daughter over WHICH Uglydoll to buy this time. One of us should grow up a.s.a.p, and I suspect that should've been ME.

I still think Uglydolls are ugly. In a cute, irresistible way. And I love them for it.

  

On Positioning: the Case of fX

The case today is fX (Lifestyle X'nter), the newest, hippest place in Jakarta. In an article in The Jakarta Post, the Marketing Director claims that, "fX is not a shopping center. We target young executive professionals from 25 to 45 for both business and leisure." Okayyyyyy... 

First thing first: what would a "shopping center" in Jakarta be like? Depending on time of the week, it could be teeming with: a) teenagers in noisy groups, dressed similarly you could barely distinguish one kid from another; b) housewives (just as noisy, and dressed to kill, toting the mandatory Birkin or Neverfull bag); c) the whole family, from grandparents to (great)grandchildren. Note the profusion of strollers and the compulsory uniformed nannies on weekends. Sometimes the father would play the overly-involved and all-smothering paterfamilia (because he's unavailable Monday-Saturday, so he crams 6-days-worth of fathering and husbanding into a 6-hours-stroll at the shopping mall). 

Now: what would "not a shopping center", like fX, be like? According to the Marketing Manager, at least? Flocks of corporate executives having lunch... people entertaining their clients... entrepreneurs holding meetings and presentation sessions in one of the various fPods (that's how they call the 11 meeting rooms)... dinners and drinks celebrating the closing of a deal... a long night at the club (and more than a few shots of tequila) to console oneself after a failed deal... stressed-out workers having the 12-second adrenaline rush on the giant slide (aptly called "Almostfear"... because now matter how scary the ride is, it's nothing compared to the "Realfear" you face when you have to report that failed deal to your angry boss, or a potential partner bailing out because you screwed up the negotiation, or a million-dollar investment going down the drain due to mismanagement, or a lawsuit due to financial fraud, or the risk of being fired because a coworker backstabbed you during that last project). I'm ranting here. Sorry... and office workers meeting their highschool or college friends for drinks after work, while waiting for the traffic jam to subside.

And finally (drumroll, please): an actual visit fo fX. Please note that this is on a weekend on the third week of August 2008, and fX has just been opened for less than a month. What do I see there?

• thirtysomething to fortysomething men (probably fX's target market, thus) bringing their spouses and offsprings on a weekend (probably because they have visited the place with co-workers before, liked the place and would love their family to experience it as well);
  
• teenagers attracted by the newness and hipness of the place (and the giant slide factor!);
• the usual mall crowd (marked by the abundance of strollers and nannies), not caring about fX positioning. To them, a mall is a mall is a mall is a mall.
• a long, snaking line of people queueing to try the giant slide... ranging from elderly ladies (what?!!) to young kids (who aren't supposed to be allowed to do it in the first place, I wonder what the age and height limits are). This says a lot about the socio-economic level of fX visitors, because one ride costs IDR 100,000 (roughly USD 10) and that ain't cheap.

So, what does it say about the fate of fX in the (near) future? Jakarta is the ADD Capital of Southeast Asia, remember... so I really AM curious about this. Let's see... fX might be:

a) completely deserted. Because it's only a passing fad, made "hip and happening" by initial curiosity and the giant slide factor.

b) deserted by the early curious visitors and frequented by the intended target market. The Marketing Director screams, "Yay!" and pumps his/her fist in the air.

c) inhabited by the usual mall crowd (thus rendering the segmenting-targeting-positioning completely useless). The Marketing Director says, "F**k!" and checks his Kotler textbook again, wondering where it all went wrong.

Alright. Time will tell. Another (weekday) visit required. And another weekend visit, maybe 2-3 months from now (the usual time needed for Jakartans to forget all about one passing fad and move on to another).

 

"Grand Theft Mobile (Phone)"

How risky is it to roam the shopping malls of Jakarta? Here are some of the known risks:

Losing sense of direction

This might start on the road already (trying to locate the mall in the first place). Or at the entrance (there are so many entrance gates). Or in the parking lot/building/basement (whichever is more confusing). And the climax (drumroll, please): not being able to find one's car when finished shopping (even if one manages to find the parking area, all floors look similar... and lots of cars look similar, too... just look at all those silver Toyota Avanza)

Losing control: over one's budget, or one's diet plan

"I'm just going to buy that black cardigan. I promise."... "Okay. Got it... wait... ooh, it comes in grey, too! And that one will go great with my new white top."... "Okay. I'm gonna buy the grey... and the red, too. And the black shorts to go with it... and the necklace. Ooh, perfect outfit for the next arisan with the girls!"... "And to celebrate this fabulous shopping, I'll go grab two scoops at Gelato Bar... I'll just go to the gym tomorrow and workout longer than usual... if I can wake up in the morning, that is... ooh, look at those gorgeous strappy sandals!!!" (got the picture?)

Losing one's personal belongings (e.g. wallet, mobile phone)

Sometimes due to carelessness (putting mobile phone in outer compartment of rucksack, or in an unzipped handbag), sometimes due to semi-hypnotized state of mind (caused by "buy one get one free" or "50% discount"-delirium), sometimes due to mere stupidity (displaying one's Nokia E90 or N95 on a table at a crowded foodcourt, beckoning, "Hey, hey, come and grab my phone! I promise I won't look!"), sometimes it's just one's luck. Combined with some kind of "death defying act" by a Harry Houdini or David Blaine wannabe, who manages to fish someone's wallet/phone out of his/her handbag/pocket.  

Losing patience

This applies mostly to men... who have to wait or roam around aimlessly while their spouse/girlfriend/ friend/sister shop excitedly. Browsing stores, trying on clothes/shoes, bargaining prices, mixing and matching outfits, and shopping some more (and forgetting about spouse/boyfriend/friend/brother completely)

In MY case: Plaza Semanggi, 4 August 2008, in broad daylight, losing my mobile phone, obviously just my luck. I remember still having the cute little Nokia thing in the mobile phone compartment INSIDE my handbag the whole time (or so I thought). The next thing I knew, it was gone. Was in the car when I realized it. Retraced every place I visited, to no avail. It vanished into thin air. I guess someone took "Street Magic" too seriously, and practiced it on people at shopping malls, turning it into "Shopping Mall Theft Magic". I was so tempted to cast an evil spell or a terrible curse on whoever stole my phone (like one of the sisters in "Charmed") but I remembered that I don't have any magic powers whatsoever... so, nevermind. 

I'll just have to buy a new phone, then. 

And yes, this is a RANT. Thanks for bearing with me.

Grand Sensory Overload Indonesia

I made the wrong decision today by visiting Grand Indonesia on a public holiday. The usually rather empty corridors and walkways are buzzing with people. Really. People everywhere. I got dizzy just looking at them. And strollers! There were strollers everywhere... with or without infant in it. Sometimes containing shopping bags in lieu of infant. And babysitters! The ratio is 2.5 babysitters per kid. So do your math. And Crocs! Maybe at least 50 per cent of people there were wearing a pair of Crocs in various colors and sizes. They must be doing very well in this country. This quarter's sales target = surpassed by at least 20 per cent. 

There were so many sounds and noises and decorations and colors and lights and images shoved in your face, it's sensory overload. It's so overwhelming. Agoraphobics will run screaming to their psychiatrists. 

And it's truly Attention Deficit Disorder galore... one moment you're walking in Soho, NYC... complete with NYC manhole cover and graffiti. 100 meters further, suddenly you find yourself in a Chinatown somewhere, with gazillions of red lanterns hanging above your head. Then, you cross a sky bridge and find yourself in a dimly lit Zen garden, complete with (fake) bamboo trees and (fake) stepping stones. Of course, it's an extremely noisy Zen garden, because there's a band playing (very loud and somehow out of tune), plus the in-house music blaring from the speakers placed in strategic corners. Go down one floor, and you see a replica of an Italian fountain... right next to a Dutch windmill... and if you walk further, you find yourself in Moulin Rouge. Not only is it ADD heaven, it's a crash course in geography and cultural history, too. Instant NYC, Rome, Amsterdam, Paris and Tokyo. Just add hot water. 

Oh, and wherever you go, you will see people talking (or screaming, more like) into their mobile phones, "What?!! WHERE are you? No, no... I said I'm at WEST mall, not East. You're WHERE?!! 9th floor?!! But there are only 8 floors in this building!!!" and, "Turn left near that sports store, then walk further until you see some escalators... but don't go up or down... just walk straight until you see Seibu... and, huh? No, I'm not in Seibu. You see, you have to go over the sky bridge first... or maybe... wait, I'm confused..." and, "She WHAT?!! I thought she was with YOU!!!"... 

I'm just so glad that I wasn't going there with hyperactive toddlers and overloaded strollers and clueless babysitters in tow *sigh* what is up with these people and the shopping malls of Jakarta?

 

The Knight is Very, Very Dark

Just how dark is "The Dark Knight"? Very dark. "There's no ray of hope for the city." says one review. I went to see it with one question, "Just how brilliant is Heath Ledger as The Joker?" (what I had in mind was Jack Nicholson's Joker... against Michael Keaton's Batman, way back then). Well, Ledger's Joker is chilling to the bone. I mean really, really b-a-a-a-a-d... a mad genius with a sick, dark sense of humor. 

Christian Bale? He's darker than ever. He doesn't smile in the movie. Not even once. But he's just as ravishing as ever (don't take my word... I'm biased here, since I'm a huge fan of Bale's)

Aaron Eckhart? His descent into darkness is disturbing... (plus, the make-up and effects are WAY more real and convincing than the other Batman movie where Tommy Lee Jones is playing Two-Face...) Now my mental picture of him as a warm, charming chef in "No Reservations" is completely ruined. 

"The Dark Knight" walks that thin line between superhero and supervillain, good and evil, White Knight and Dark Knight... tiptoeing and tripping and at times having one foot on each side, deliciously savoring the adrenaline rush during dilemmatic decision making... "Will they push the button? Will he choose Harvey or Rachel? Will he reveal his true identity?"  and sometimes making the wrong choice... or simply giving in to the dark side... which is so painfully human. 

This movie lingers in my mind still, and this is already two days after I saw it.

Oh, wait. I just have to write this: I overheard some girls' conversation in the restroom after the movie. They were chattering loudly. Here are some of their comments:

- "It's crazy... I was so bored in there. It's such a boring movie." (she might be one of those moviegoers who's busy texting or talking on mobile phone in the middle of a show, or doesn't bother to follow the movie plot?)

- "Batman is so low-IQ in this movie. Stupid. Driving a piece of junk for a car." (she's referring to Batmobile, of course... maybe she thinks Batman should be smart enough to choose a sturdier, flashier car, like a Hummer or a Porsche Cayenne... and perhaps a sleek BMW R1200 instead of Batpod?)

I guess not everyone is as passionate or appreciative as I am when it comes to movies. Oh well. At least I still have a bunch a buddies who would be glad to spend time with me discussing movies over a cup of cappuccino. Consider myself lucky :)

I (Don't?) Like Monday.

It's Monday. Well, half an hour past midnight, but it IS Monday. And here's something to ponder this Monday:

"But here comes another Monday. Maybe feeling trapped is just the reality of the way things are. Doesn't everyone hate Monday? Doesn't every responsible person just bury their dreams and passions in exchange for getting a paycheck?" (Dan Miller)

Well? What do you think?

"Wanted": a Kickass Flick and a Huge Crush on McAvoy

Imagine just finishing and submitting my work this Saturday noon? Well, that's what happened, and I was rather pissed off, so I thought I deserve some real action, if only in movies. Time for "Wanted". I want to see James McAvoy kick some ass. And kick some ass he did. And it's bloody awesome. Literally bloody, and totally awesome. It's invigorating to watch him transform from an ultimate cubicle loser into a supercool assassin. What a rush. And there's an unpredictable twist on the storyline, which is great. And there's a steaming hot kissing scene, which I love. 

Deep down inside, there's a Wesley Gibson in each one of us corporate cubicle dwellers... fantasizing about finally lashing out at the boss or smashing a colleague's head with our computer keyboard. Hmm. Or maybe it's just me.

"What the f**k have you done lately?"