Think. Feel. Think Again.

Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.

- Horace Walpole

Think. Feel. Ever wonder what life is for those who 'don't think, just do'? (perhaps they never laugh)... or those who 'think twice before you do anything'? (they laugh twice as much as other people). Or... what about Einstein who said, "I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right."? (he must have laughed the hell of a lot). 

Well... better learn from David Ogilvy, then: "The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible." (even if you don't actually get great ideas, at least you're having fun trying to generate some).

Now... how about those who feel? Jean Kerr said, "The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible." (an utter tragedy, if you remember the first quote at the top of this blog post... plus, it does not bode well for the below-average, not-so-healthy, ill-adjusted adult)

Another tragic thing coming from Oscar Wilde (good old Oscar, I'm so fond of this guy): "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong." (confidence, Oscar... confidence!)

Oh, now that we're talking about words... ever get frustrated because you're trying so hard to remember something (like the meaning of a word in a different language--the most frustrating sort) and you just CANNOT? Excruciating isn't it? Here's something that wouldn't help at all: Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.

There you go. I'm just sayin'...

You Think You Know Everything About Me?

A good friend of mine wrote on her Facebook status, "Just because you've read my Facebook profile, you think you know everything about me? You've got a whole lot to learn, man... a whole lot." (and I love her for that) but come to think of it, you could learn quite a lot about someone from his/her Facebook profile and behavior. Not to mention their status updates. How frequent is it, and how personal? 

If a Facebook friend is explaining all her family activities and marital problems and romantic rants in her status, updated at least 3x a day, I would think twice or maybe five times before I share any of MY personal stories with her... let alone secrets! 

You can learn that your Facebook friend is 'still rather secretive somehow' (throwing hints and teasers but never reveals the whole truth), 'a total exhibitionist' (detailed summary of current marital problem, anyone?), 'a true social butterfly' (tagged in photos in the hippest and most happening spots in the city, almost every night), 'a manic questioner' (asking 'why' and 'what if' and is happy if people are commenting on them, would only be satisfied if there are at least 15 comments below the status update)... oh, you know the types. And I'm sure you'd log in to Facebook after this, observing and noticing your friends there :) 

All in all, it's a fun place to be and always a fun thing to do. And please do rant and rave and reveal all your life secrets there... it's always interesting to watch (and I can always ignore whatever I choose to ignore... that's the beauty of it :))

The Stuff We Have...

"We spent all those years talking about the stuff we had in common, and the last few months noticing all the ways we were different, and it broke both of our hearts."

That was a line by Nick Hornby in "A Long Way Down". And that summarizes relationships, in a way. It always starts with the euphoria and elation of finding all the stuff we have in common, which range from the usual things like music and movies and ice cream flavors to the weirder ones like star constellations and dead Russian poets. 

Fast forward to several years (or decades, if you're that lucky)... and we start noticing all the ways we are different, which range from the way we arrange our socks in the drawer to the way we write emails to the way we plan for holidays to the way we manage our finances. 

What to do? Should we turn a blind eye to all the differences, pretend that everything's fine, and live our life together as usual? Should we bicker about each other's differences and try to change each other? Should we focus on our common stuff and ignore the differences, sulking internally when those differences annoy one of us? Is there even a good way to deal with this stuff?  After all, once you focus on each other's differences, you would start to feel as if you don't know each other anymore, and you would end up wondering, "What did we see in each other back then? How did we even manage to be a couple all these years? Did we really have things in common back then? Has s/he changed that much? Have I changed that much? What happened to us? Why are we drifting apart? Is this relationship worth keeping? What other options do I have?"...

Seven Days in Sunny June

Now I know what Jamiroquai was thinking when he wrote this song... I think. June has been quite a month so far... full of work and learning and excitement and new people and new places and new things. It's an adventure, literally. In the broadest sense of the word.

The 1st seven days have been full of reporting and catching up on things that I left when I roamed Sumatra on Phase I. It should include rest and recuperation, theoretically. Only I never recuperated properly because I had to prepare for Phase II... 

The 2nd seven days have been spent in three provinces (North Sumatra, Riau and West Sumatra). It's been great. Cool places, cool people, cool findings. Absolutely fabulous. 

The 3rd seven days is... now. I'm right in the middle of it. It's Bengkulu province this time, and it's started with delayed flight. It's a precious lesson, actually. No matter how good you plan things, no matter how detailed and how prepared you think you are, shit happens. At the time when you least expect it. You can rant and scream and be angry and be a pain in the *ss and make other people miserable, but it wouldn't change anything. It would only make things worse. So just stay cool about it. Make changes and adjustments and accept the fact that shit had happened. I bet this is what Murphy had in mind when he made up that famous adage. Here's the full text, from Wikipedia:

   ... nothing is as easy as it looks

        everything takes longer than you expect

        if anything can go wrong it will

        at the worst possible moment.

The 4th seven days will be next week. Covering other 3 provinces (Jambi, South Sumatra, Lampung). The work will be tough, schedule- and substance-wise. But there will be new places and new people and new learnings and new insights and new experiences and new excitements. And the adventure continues. 

The next seven days... who knows? 

Some people say: live one day at a time. One day seems too short and haphazardly impulsive to me. It's 24-hours, no more and no less. And I mostly feel as if 24 hours are not enough. So how about this: live seven days at a time? Seven days seem fair enough. Enough time to think things through. Enough time to plan and prepare. Enough time to get some inspiration. Enough time to live in excited anticipation, barely able to contain myself. Enough time to fantasize and imagine what will happen. Enough time to savor the moments. Enough time to cool down. Enough time to reflect on what happened. Enough time to cherish the memories. Enough time to look forward to another seven days, whatever those seven days may bring me. 

Those seven days might excite you, dazzle you, intoxicate you, lift you, or crush you. But at least you live life to the fullest. Seven days at a time.

...could it be this? the honeysuckle blessings seem to show me

could it be this? for seven days in june i wasn't lonely

could it be this? you never gave me time to say "i love you"

could it be this? i know you don't believe me but it's so true...

The Terminal: Life is Waiting.

It's been MONTHS since I last posted anything here. And so many things have happened. What triggers this post is a 4 hours-delay at Terminal 3, Soekarno-Hatta International Airport... so, there's always a bright side of everything, after all. Had my flight been on-time, this blog post wouldn't have existed. So there.

What I'm trying to do is to get to Bengkulu, today. Never been there before. Some people say the beach is fabulous. We'll see (if I ever manage to get there, anyway... what is up with this Mandala airlines?%&#@!!!).

So far, this is what I've done:

1) ate donuts and drank latte at J.Co... which is always good. No electrical outlet whatsoever, though... a good strategy to prevent people like me from hogging the tables with their laptops plugged in

2) walked around Terminal 3... which is surprisingly nice. The building, I mean. Maybe because it's still brand new. I hope this place stays bright and clean for... ever? Dare I hope so? Building is easier than maintaining, at least that's how it is in this country. 

3) observed people's reaction at Mandala boarding counter... upon learning that their flights were delayed. The reactions vary from anger (as seen from their bulging eyes and scrunched-up faces), amusement (as seen from their expression, and thought bubbles above their heads reading, "Delay... again... how many days this time?"), frustration (as seen from their silent but miserable expression), and apathy (as seen from their stone-like, expressionless faces). My own reaction was a mix of amusement and frustration, because I have to reschedule all my appointments for 2 days. 

4) read the claim form... which would entitle me to Rp.200.000/2 hours delay compensation, which is good. That would cover my donut and coffee expenses. But wait... they're not gonna pay me immediately. So maybe I would get the compensation in a few months, if I'm lucky. We'll see about that. If they screw up my compensation, I'd write a complaint letter about it... but wait... I might get sued by Mandala and sent to prison because of it. So I'll just chill and wait and see what happens. So much for customer-centeredness, customer-orientation, customer delight, customer satisfaction, customer blah blah. 

5) called people.

I still have 3,5 hours to kill. I start to feel like that guy Viktor Navorski in The Terminal... only I still have my nationality because my country is still intact. Maybe I would find the love of my life here (0,01% chance of happening) or maybe I'd just arrive in Bengkulu completely exhausted and cranky and utterly not in the mood for conducting in-depth interviews (99,99% chance of happening). 

Desire

A lover knows only humility

He has no choice

He steals into your alley at night

He has no choice

He longs to kiss every lock of your hair

Don't fret

He has no choice

In his frenzied love for you

He tries to break the chains of his imprisonment

He has no choice

A lover asks his beloved, 

"Do you love yourself more than you love me?"

Beloved replies, "I've died to myself, and I live for you... I've disappeared from myself and my attributes... I am present only for you."

I've forgotten all my learnings

But from knowing you, I have become a scholar

I have lost all my strength

but from your power, I am able.

I love myself. I love you. I love you. I love myself...

I am your lover

Come to my side

I will open the gate to your love

Come settle with me

Let us be neighbors with the stars

You have been hiding so long

Aimlessly drifting

In the sea of my love

Even so, you have always been connected to me

Concealed. Revealed. In the known. In the unmanifest

I am life itself.

You have been a prisoner of a little pond

I am the ocean

And its turbulent flood

Come merge with me

Leave this world of ignorance

Be with me

I will open the gate to your love

I desire you more than food or drink

My body, my senses, my mind

Hungered for your taste

I can sense your presence in my heart

Although you belong to all the world

I wait with silent passion

For one gesture. Once glance. From you.

The Early Bird...

This is very early in the year... so let's talk about being early (thanks, G., for the inspiration)...

"The early bird gets the worm."

Why do people believe this? In Jakarta, maybe you would be able to avoid hellish traffic if you leave home early (like 5 AM). Maybe this comes from the time of our ancestors, where people's occupation was mainly working the rice paddy and farming. Their whole business would be in complete chaos if they, say, start working only at 9 AM.

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Because the first mouse gets killed by the trap and is now resting in peace. This holds true in the mice community. I don't know what the analogy is in humankind. You watch your colleague fail miserably in a project, then you take over, and now you know what she did wrong, you avoid the mistakes, and you eventually succeed, you make a big fuss out of it and get promoted? I don't know. Maybe.

"The early worm gets eaten by the early bird, so don't come out early."

This is posted on the wall in the worm community. They're not stupid.

"Where the hell are all the worms?!!"

This is eventually posted on the wall, in the bird community.