The Stuff We Have...

"We spent all those years talking about the stuff we had in common, and the last few months noticing all the ways we were different, and it broke both of our hearts."

That was a line by Nick Hornby in "A Long Way Down". And that summarizes relationships, in a way. It always starts with the euphoria and elation of finding all the stuff we have in common, which range from the usual things like music and movies and ice cream flavors to the weirder ones like star constellations and dead Russian poets. 

Fast forward to several years (or decades, if you're that lucky)... and we start noticing all the ways we are different, which range from the way we arrange our socks in the drawer to the way we write emails to the way we plan for holidays to the way we manage our finances. 

What to do? Should we turn a blind eye to all the differences, pretend that everything's fine, and live our life together as usual? Should we bicker about each other's differences and try to change each other? Should we focus on our common stuff and ignore the differences, sulking internally when those differences annoy one of us? Is there even a good way to deal with this stuff?  After all, once you focus on each other's differences, you would start to feel as if you don't know each other anymore, and you would end up wondering, "What did we see in each other back then? How did we even manage to be a couple all these years? Did we really have things in common back then? Has s/he changed that much? Have I changed that much? What happened to us? Why are we drifting apart? Is this relationship worth keeping? What other options do I have?"...