Ugly is the New Pretty...

My daughter's been nagging about Uglydolls. I checked them out. And oh, they're really ugly... they're made of felt. Some wedge-shaped. Some one-eyed. Some bucktoothed, some has fangs. All ugly. Forget Forever Friends, forget Strawberry Shortcake, forget Hello Kitty, forget Snoopy, forget Garfield. Forever Friends et al. are cute in a conservative way. Old-fashioned cute, where "cute" is associated with a white kitten wearing red ribbon on the ear, or a pretty girl wearing strawberry costume, or a fluffy cuddly teddy bear with pink cheeks, or even a fat lazy cat who loves lasagna. How about Uglydolls, then? They're just ugly. Plain ugly.

And I start to love them. I couldn't understand it at first, but they kind of grow on me, and I end up wanting them. Seriously. And my daughter couldn't be happier when I bought her her first Uglydoll. It's Wage. A black creature with sharp fangs, wearing a denim apron. Now Wage is officially a family member. I will find him on my pillow, or next to my iBook, or near my handbag. Or in the car. He's everywhere. 

Now. A good friend of mine is buying my daughter another Uglydoll. It's Babo this time. I can see it coming. More Uglydolls invading my home. In various colors and sizes. The next one would be Bop N'Beep (the two-sided ugly), I suspect. Because I love the color, and the schizophrenic idea of having a two-sided Uglydoll. Imagine THAT. I will be arguing with my daughter over WHICH Uglydoll to buy this time. One of us should grow up a.s.a.p, and I suspect that should've been ME.

I still think Uglydolls are ugly. In a cute, irresistible way. And I love them for it.

  

On Positioning: the Case of fX

The case today is fX (Lifestyle X'nter), the newest, hippest place in Jakarta. In an article in The Jakarta Post, the Marketing Director claims that, "fX is not a shopping center. We target young executive professionals from 25 to 45 for both business and leisure." Okayyyyyy... 

First thing first: what would a "shopping center" in Jakarta be like? Depending on time of the week, it could be teeming with: a) teenagers in noisy groups, dressed similarly you could barely distinguish one kid from another; b) housewives (just as noisy, and dressed to kill, toting the mandatory Birkin or Neverfull bag); c) the whole family, from grandparents to (great)grandchildren. Note the profusion of strollers and the compulsory uniformed nannies on weekends. Sometimes the father would play the overly-involved and all-smothering paterfamilia (because he's unavailable Monday-Saturday, so he crams 6-days-worth of fathering and husbanding into a 6-hours-stroll at the shopping mall). 

Now: what would "not a shopping center", like fX, be like? According to the Marketing Manager, at least? Flocks of corporate executives having lunch... people entertaining their clients... entrepreneurs holding meetings and presentation sessions in one of the various fPods (that's how they call the 11 meeting rooms)... dinners and drinks celebrating the closing of a deal... a long night at the club (and more than a few shots of tequila) to console oneself after a failed deal... stressed-out workers having the 12-second adrenaline rush on the giant slide (aptly called "Almostfear"... because now matter how scary the ride is, it's nothing compared to the "Realfear" you face when you have to report that failed deal to your angry boss, or a potential partner bailing out because you screwed up the negotiation, or a million-dollar investment going down the drain due to mismanagement, or a lawsuit due to financial fraud, or the risk of being fired because a coworker backstabbed you during that last project). I'm ranting here. Sorry... and office workers meeting their highschool or college friends for drinks after work, while waiting for the traffic jam to subside.

And finally (drumroll, please): an actual visit fo fX. Please note that this is on a weekend on the third week of August 2008, and fX has just been opened for less than a month. What do I see there?

• thirtysomething to fortysomething men (probably fX's target market, thus) bringing their spouses and offsprings on a weekend (probably because they have visited the place with co-workers before, liked the place and would love their family to experience it as well);
  
• teenagers attracted by the newness and hipness of the place (and the giant slide factor!);
• the usual mall crowd (marked by the abundance of strollers and nannies), not caring about fX positioning. To them, a mall is a mall is a mall is a mall.
• a long, snaking line of people queueing to try the giant slide... ranging from elderly ladies (what?!!) to young kids (who aren't supposed to be allowed to do it in the first place, I wonder what the age and height limits are). This says a lot about the socio-economic level of fX visitors, because one ride costs IDR 100,000 (roughly USD 10) and that ain't cheap.

So, what does it say about the fate of fX in the (near) future? Jakarta is the ADD Capital of Southeast Asia, remember... so I really AM curious about this. Let's see... fX might be:

a) completely deserted. Because it's only a passing fad, made "hip and happening" by initial curiosity and the giant slide factor.

b) deserted by the early curious visitors and frequented by the intended target market. The Marketing Director screams, "Yay!" and pumps his/her fist in the air.

c) inhabited by the usual mall crowd (thus rendering the segmenting-targeting-positioning completely useless). The Marketing Director says, "F**k!" and checks his Kotler textbook again, wondering where it all went wrong.

Alright. Time will tell. Another (weekday) visit required. And another weekend visit, maybe 2-3 months from now (the usual time needed for Jakartans to forget all about one passing fad and move on to another).

 

"Grand Theft Mobile (Phone)"

How risky is it to roam the shopping malls of Jakarta? Here are some of the known risks:

Losing sense of direction

This might start on the road already (trying to locate the mall in the first place). Or at the entrance (there are so many entrance gates). Or in the parking lot/building/basement (whichever is more confusing). And the climax (drumroll, please): not being able to find one's car when finished shopping (even if one manages to find the parking area, all floors look similar... and lots of cars look similar, too... just look at all those silver Toyota Avanza)

Losing control: over one's budget, or one's diet plan

"I'm just going to buy that black cardigan. I promise."... "Okay. Got it... wait... ooh, it comes in grey, too! And that one will go great with my new white top."... "Okay. I'm gonna buy the grey... and the red, too. And the black shorts to go with it... and the necklace. Ooh, perfect outfit for the next arisan with the girls!"... "And to celebrate this fabulous shopping, I'll go grab two scoops at Gelato Bar... I'll just go to the gym tomorrow and workout longer than usual... if I can wake up in the morning, that is... ooh, look at those gorgeous strappy sandals!!!" (got the picture?)

Losing one's personal belongings (e.g. wallet, mobile phone)

Sometimes due to carelessness (putting mobile phone in outer compartment of rucksack, or in an unzipped handbag), sometimes due to semi-hypnotized state of mind (caused by "buy one get one free" or "50% discount"-delirium), sometimes due to mere stupidity (displaying one's Nokia E90 or N95 on a table at a crowded foodcourt, beckoning, "Hey, hey, come and grab my phone! I promise I won't look!"), sometimes it's just one's luck. Combined with some kind of "death defying act" by a Harry Houdini or David Blaine wannabe, who manages to fish someone's wallet/phone out of his/her handbag/pocket.  

Losing patience

This applies mostly to men... who have to wait or roam around aimlessly while their spouse/girlfriend/ friend/sister shop excitedly. Browsing stores, trying on clothes/shoes, bargaining prices, mixing and matching outfits, and shopping some more (and forgetting about spouse/boyfriend/friend/brother completely)

In MY case: Plaza Semanggi, 4 August 2008, in broad daylight, losing my mobile phone, obviously just my luck. I remember still having the cute little Nokia thing in the mobile phone compartment INSIDE my handbag the whole time (or so I thought). The next thing I knew, it was gone. Was in the car when I realized it. Retraced every place I visited, to no avail. It vanished into thin air. I guess someone took "Street Magic" too seriously, and practiced it on people at shopping malls, turning it into "Shopping Mall Theft Magic". I was so tempted to cast an evil spell or a terrible curse on whoever stole my phone (like one of the sisters in "Charmed") but I remembered that I don't have any magic powers whatsoever... so, nevermind. 

I'll just have to buy a new phone, then. 

And yes, this is a RANT. Thanks for bearing with me.

Grand Sensory Overload Indonesia

I made the wrong decision today by visiting Grand Indonesia on a public holiday. The usually rather empty corridors and walkways are buzzing with people. Really. People everywhere. I got dizzy just looking at them. And strollers! There were strollers everywhere... with or without infant in it. Sometimes containing shopping bags in lieu of infant. And babysitters! The ratio is 2.5 babysitters per kid. So do your math. And Crocs! Maybe at least 50 per cent of people there were wearing a pair of Crocs in various colors and sizes. They must be doing very well in this country. This quarter's sales target = surpassed by at least 20 per cent. 

There were so many sounds and noises and decorations and colors and lights and images shoved in your face, it's sensory overload. It's so overwhelming. Agoraphobics will run screaming to their psychiatrists. 

And it's truly Attention Deficit Disorder galore... one moment you're walking in Soho, NYC... complete with NYC manhole cover and graffiti. 100 meters further, suddenly you find yourself in a Chinatown somewhere, with gazillions of red lanterns hanging above your head. Then, you cross a sky bridge and find yourself in a dimly lit Zen garden, complete with (fake) bamboo trees and (fake) stepping stones. Of course, it's an extremely noisy Zen garden, because there's a band playing (very loud and somehow out of tune), plus the in-house music blaring from the speakers placed in strategic corners. Go down one floor, and you see a replica of an Italian fountain... right next to a Dutch windmill... and if you walk further, you find yourself in Moulin Rouge. Not only is it ADD heaven, it's a crash course in geography and cultural history, too. Instant NYC, Rome, Amsterdam, Paris and Tokyo. Just add hot water. 

Oh, and wherever you go, you will see people talking (or screaming, more like) into their mobile phones, "What?!! WHERE are you? No, no... I said I'm at WEST mall, not East. You're WHERE?!! 9th floor?!! But there are only 8 floors in this building!!!" and, "Turn left near that sports store, then walk further until you see some escalators... but don't go up or down... just walk straight until you see Seibu... and, huh? No, I'm not in Seibu. You see, you have to go over the sky bridge first... or maybe... wait, I'm confused..." and, "She WHAT?!! I thought she was with YOU!!!"... 

I'm just so glad that I wasn't going there with hyperactive toddlers and overloaded strollers and clueless babysitters in tow *sigh* what is up with these people and the shopping malls of Jakarta?

 

The Knight is Very, Very Dark

Just how dark is "The Dark Knight"? Very dark. "There's no ray of hope for the city." says one review. I went to see it with one question, "Just how brilliant is Heath Ledger as The Joker?" (what I had in mind was Jack Nicholson's Joker... against Michael Keaton's Batman, way back then). Well, Ledger's Joker is chilling to the bone. I mean really, really b-a-a-a-a-d... a mad genius with a sick, dark sense of humor. 

Christian Bale? He's darker than ever. He doesn't smile in the movie. Not even once. But he's just as ravishing as ever (don't take my word... I'm biased here, since I'm a huge fan of Bale's)

Aaron Eckhart? His descent into darkness is disturbing... (plus, the make-up and effects are WAY more real and convincing than the other Batman movie where Tommy Lee Jones is playing Two-Face...) Now my mental picture of him as a warm, charming chef in "No Reservations" is completely ruined. 

"The Dark Knight" walks that thin line between superhero and supervillain, good and evil, White Knight and Dark Knight... tiptoeing and tripping and at times having one foot on each side, deliciously savoring the adrenaline rush during dilemmatic decision making... "Will they push the button? Will he choose Harvey or Rachel? Will he reveal his true identity?"  and sometimes making the wrong choice... or simply giving in to the dark side... which is so painfully human. 

This movie lingers in my mind still, and this is already two days after I saw it.

Oh, wait. I just have to write this: I overheard some girls' conversation in the restroom after the movie. They were chattering loudly. Here are some of their comments:

- "It's crazy... I was so bored in there. It's such a boring movie." (she might be one of those moviegoers who's busy texting or talking on mobile phone in the middle of a show, or doesn't bother to follow the movie plot?)

- "Batman is so low-IQ in this movie. Stupid. Driving a piece of junk for a car." (she's referring to Batmobile, of course... maybe she thinks Batman should be smart enough to choose a sturdier, flashier car, like a Hummer or a Porsche Cayenne... and perhaps a sleek BMW R1200 instead of Batpod?)

I guess not everyone is as passionate or appreciative as I am when it comes to movies. Oh well. At least I still have a bunch a buddies who would be glad to spend time with me discussing movies over a cup of cappuccino. Consider myself lucky :)

I (Don't?) Like Monday.

It's Monday. Well, half an hour past midnight, but it IS Monday. And here's something to ponder this Monday:

"But here comes another Monday. Maybe feeling trapped is just the reality of the way things are. Doesn't everyone hate Monday? Doesn't every responsible person just bury their dreams and passions in exchange for getting a paycheck?" (Dan Miller)

Well? What do you think?

"Wanted": a Kickass Flick and a Huge Crush on McAvoy

Imagine just finishing and submitting my work this Saturday noon? Well, that's what happened, and I was rather pissed off, so I thought I deserve some real action, if only in movies. Time for "Wanted". I want to see James McAvoy kick some ass. And kick some ass he did. And it's bloody awesome. Literally bloody, and totally awesome. It's invigorating to watch him transform from an ultimate cubicle loser into a supercool assassin. What a rush. And there's an unpredictable twist on the storyline, which is great. And there's a steaming hot kissing scene, which I love. 

Deep down inside, there's a Wesley Gibson in each one of us corporate cubicle dwellers... fantasizing about finally lashing out at the boss or smashing a colleague's head with our computer keyboard. Hmm. Or maybe it's just me.

"What the f**k have you done lately?"

The Type-B Diaries, Part 2

Okayyy... I've just had a tall hazelnut latte (with extra shot of espresso) and now I'm completely alert, if not jumpy. At 9.30 PM. Which is fine, because I have to work on a document tonight, and I need all the energy and alertness that I can muster. At least until midnight *grin*

Let's see... it's Day 6 of my Type B Thingy... and I've been quite consistent so far. Mutton and beef instead of chicken. Small amounts of white rice. Carrot and broccoli. Mandarin oranges. French fries (yes yes yes reduce fried food). Coffee (of course). And... a lick of mint ice cream this afternoon. I swear it's just a lick. Just a dot. Maybe the size of an M&M's. And believe you me, being able to resist an ice cream temptation was an achievement of HUGE magnitude. Me, the Ice Cream Monster! Woohoo! 

Moving right along.

nineteen... twenty... twenty-one...

Went to see "21" last night... and what a supercool movie it was. I've always liked Kevin Spacey, and here, he's perfect as the brilliant, cocky and ruthless Prof. Micky Rosa of MIT. And seeing Jim Sturgess and Kate Bosworth as a couple is quite refreshing... because they're young and daring and brainy... unlike some on-screen couples I've seen, which are either too melancholic and whiny, or impossibly tough and "noble". You know what I mean. Sturgess and Bosworth have their flaws, and they give in to temptation at times... just like the rest of us normal human beings do. 

The soundtrack is cool ("You Can't Always Get What You Want"... how proper is THAT?!!)

Oh... and... I will have to read the book "Bringing Down the House". How can I resist? 

The Type-B Diaries, Part 1

I first heard it from my yoga instructor. Blood type diet. Her blood type is A, so she's avoiding meat, and is veering toward vegetarian life, which I find rather boring (if not impossible, at least for me). Then I heard it from someone else, who is Type B. He's promptly avoiding chicken, but is indulging in mutton and lamb meats, because those meats are beneficial for his type. "And, guess what: I should drink regular milk instead of soy milk. Isn't that beautiful?" Yup. 

Mutton and lamb instead of chicken? (what about "white meat is better than red meat"?) Regular cow's milk instead of soy milk? (what about "soy milk is healthier and non-fattening, compared to cow's milk"?) Curious, I went to the book store in search of some enlightenment... which I found in abundance. There are books for each blood type. Recipe books for each blood type (like "Healthy Recipes for Blood Type O"). Hmm. Interesting. I bought the "B" (my type), and an "O" (for comparison, and because some family members are Type O).

I leafed through the book (it's written by Dr. Peter D'Adamo), read the intro... and went on to the "beneficial", "neutral" and "avoid" sections. It's interesting to think that "one type's food can be another type's poison." Definitely not "one size fits all". Let's see... what should I avoid? (nothing delicious, I hope)

Meat and Poultry... beneficial: mutton, lamb, rabbit and deer. Neutral: beef, ostrich, turkey, and veal. Okay. What's missing? Where's the chicken and duck? Oh no, they're in the "avoid" list! Along with smoked beef and ham and pork... and... squirrel and tortoise? (who's eating them, anyway?) So... no more roasted duck at my favorite Duck King? This does not bode well. Anxious, I quickly scanned the rest of the food groups. 

So... it can be safely concluded that I have to say hasta la vista to crab, eel, lobster (oh, what a waste), oyster, prawn, and escargot. Au revoir duck and quail egg, and ice cream (what? This is unacceptable). Arrivederci mung beans, tempe and tofu (and we thought TOFU is the god of all health foods). No more avocado, corn, tomato, and olive (oh my lord...). Sayonara coconut, coconut milk, and starfruit. No more soya sauce, white and black pepper, miso, corn starch and corn syrup, and cinnamon (cinnamon, as in cinnamon bun? Come ON!) No more tomato ketchup. No alcoholic drinks (not even a glass of Cosmopolitan?), no soda of any kind.

Where does that leave me?

As I tried to calm myself down and look for the brighter side of it, I thought, "Okay... how about my other vices? Coffee? Chocolate? Wine? Ricotta and camembert cheese?". Apparently, coffee, chocolate and wine (red and white) are all "neutral" (a huge sigh of relief). Camembert is "neutral". Ricotta cheese is "highly beneficial" (why?) But ICE CREAM is to be avoided? Me? Avoiding ice cream? Get real. How come I'm allowed to gulp down cow's milk, butter, all kinds of cheese and yogurt... but I have to avoid ice cream? Isn't ice cream a derivative of milk? It should be legal for a Type B, right? Especially ME. 

Okay. I decided right there and then that this one "avoid" item cannot be completely avoided. Why? Simply because I'm concerned about my mental well-being. Ice cream to me is like Prozac to some other people. So, whether Dr. D'Adamo likes it or not, I'm going to eat a scoop of heavenly gelato maybe once a month. I mean, I've been eating it my whole life, and I'm not gonna stop just because I'm trying this Blood Type Thingy. If the lectin triggers a funny reaction in my metabolism once a month, then so be it.

So, 1 July 2008, I officially began my "Type B Diet" journey. I'm bringing that book everywhere with me: restaurant, supermarket, you name it. So far, I'm being quite consistent. We'll see in a month :)

My younger sister's comment so far (she's a Type O): "Just throw away the book. Just EAT." Hmm. I guess I didn't score too well in the persuasion department. At least not with my sister.